You can probably tell this by the fact that I have never seen Tim Burton’s supposedly ‘classic’ Batman film but, I am not a big Batman fan.
Actually, I don’t really like Batman at all. Maybe it’s just because I never watched it when I was a kid, but I don’t get why a rich guy with no powers is considered a ‘super’ hero. A hero, sure, but a ‘super’ hero?
Spiderman, Wonder Woman, Superman and so on, they all have amazing powers that – unless you are some kind of alien – would be completely impossible to achieve for a normal human being.
That’s what makes them ‘super’, but money? That’s not a real superpower, is it?
A lot of people like Batman because they think it’s relatable. I guess I just can’t relate to an incredibly rich man that seems to be a borderline megalomaniac.
In my pragmatic mind, you must be a psychopath to jump around while being shot at, knowing you are actually just a guy and you will die if only one bullet touches you.
Why is there so much fuss around Tim Burton’s Batman…?
Another reason might be that usually – in pop culture but also in the real world – rich white men are the bad guys, the nemesis, the evil one who has to be vanquished.
They are definitely not the heroes.
With 2019 being the year of its 30th anniversary, I decided to give this Tim Burton’s classic comic book movie, Batman, a chance.
Here are the 11 thoughts that came up while watching Michael Keaton in action.
- I forgot this was young Michael Keaton’s face. I can see a bit of pouty Daniel Craig’s James Bond in him.
- ‘Hello legs’? This is not going to go down well, is it? I will try to remember this is 30 years old.
- I am confused about Vicky’s job. Is she randomly showing up at this newspaper without an actual commission? I might try that and see how it goes.
- And wow, all men in that office. Clearly women couldn’t write back then.
- Why is that old guy so obsessed with the 200-year party? It’s clearly not a good time for a party, stop being a baby.
- I love Kim Basinger’s hairdo. That needs to have a come-back.
- If this film had been shot in 2019, those two would have met on Tinder and he not answering the phone (because he’s a tortured poor thing) would have been ghosting. Kim would have deleted the app and gone to Marrakech for a weekend with the girls. He consequently would have seen the pictures and realised she is so out of his league and he should really stop being a moron and would have picked her up with a private jet. Then, he would have changed his WhatsApp profile picture to a couple’s selfie. This is ready for a reboot – you are welcome.
- So, let me get this straight. Vicky just discovers that the guy she is seeing (and who ghosted her) is Batman and all she asks him is ‘why won’t you let me in?’. Are you all mad? What about ‘how can you pay for all this stuff and what the hell is wrong with you?’.
- I can’t get over the fact that she was almost kidnapped by a psychopath twice and she is just going around alone like nothing happened. Is ther no such thing as PTSD in the Batman universe.
- I little nod to Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo there? I like that.
- Joker dies in this film? What about all the other films Joker is in? I am confused.
This Batman films needs and Enema!
Not all bad (shout out to Kim’s hair) but not all good either.
If I watched Tim Burton’s Batman 10 years ago, I might have loved it but at the old age of 30 (me and the film), I don’t think it aged very well.
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