(Spoiler: it will probably scare the living daylights out of you. Do not watch this alone.)
In short, the Vatican sends an investigator and a young nun about to take her vows to investigate an incident at an incredibly old convent.
They are forced to stay in the haunted convent overnight, having encountered some very grisly sights on the way there.
And then every possible element of ‘what makes a horror film a horror film’ is crammed into the rest of the film – making you jump at least every ten minutes.
Our thoughts after watching The Nun on Netflix
We stopped, sat down, and watched The Nun.
These are 101 thoughts of what we thought on watching The Nun – just be warned, because there are spoilers beyond this point.
101 thoughts on The Nun
- Okay. Here we go.
- Why is it always a Nun who is apparently scary? Can’t a film producer ever just defy convention, and not use a bloody Nun in a horror film? Come on, just be a little bit more original than most.
- Now THAT is a bit grisly.
- This film should have a trigger warning – or at least a much clearer warning, in terms of viewing this film. This is gory – and very gory – within the first ten minutes.
- Don’t go down the dark corridor. You have been warned to not go down the dark corridor. Don’t go down the dark corridor.
- Don’t go down the dark corridor.
- *Scream on repeat, scream on repeat*
- Run, run away, run quickly away!
- There’s the Nun who has been possessed. She is creepy.
- Quickly now!
- Oh, she’s hung herself out a window. Oh. This needs a trigger warning.
- The young Nun with the investigator is incredibly young. Perhaps young beyond her years.
- I feel like bad things are going to happen to her.
- I see temptation…. In the form of a young man.
- Blushing! There’s chemistry!
- Why would you trust the Nun who refuses to show her face, who has the spookiest voice in the entire cast? Don’t be so naive.
- Go away, go away!
- Well, that was a non-justified diversion. We did not need that, and the film could have easily have been edited down a lot more.
- Bells ringing. No one around. Yep….
- The investigator is in the ground, in the ground and in a grave! Someone help him!
- The assault in the box is making my feet itch due to palpable on-screen frustration.
- Why are you going back??!!
- Just leave!!
- Leave now!!
- Please, leave!
- That creepy Nun is now in full force.
- The possession has left the host body? A confusing scene.
- How are other Nuns still worshipping?
- How have they not noticed the possession going on within their own convent?
- Shadows, shadows!
- Please do not split up.
- They split up.
- The dream team has split up, and now both halves of the investigating team are in serious peril.
- Okay, so if Satan is confined by a portal in the basement, how has no one worked this out, or been aware of this?
- And they have been abandoned by the flirty village boy who took them up by horse!
- A journalist would have been on this like a shot.
- That is the most unrealistic part of this film.
- Dialogue is beginning to drag now…
- The Nuns have stopped being a problem, for the moment.
- The lock pendant thing the suicidal Nun had in the beginning has some relevance… how have the cast only just thought of this?
- Now we’re on fire…
- The blood of Christ is kept in a mysterious vial, which the key unlocks – now what?
- It’s a sort of enigmatic weapon, but of course!
- Rather grim, though.
- There is something just hypnotic about this orb, though.
- To get into the film, we have to go into the catacombs of the Convent.
- Just NOPE.
- The prospect of going into the catacombs is not relished.
- At all.
- They are going down into the darkness, through the dark corridor!
- Dun, dun, daahhhh!
- Not a good place to pause, not a good place to pause!
- Not. Pause.
- Why do they always split up at this point?
- *Braces self*
- *Creepy music follows the cast*
- The lack of light is not helping my nerves.
- Why does a convent basically have a dungeon?
- Or a satanic portal?
- Keep praying, keep praying – this wards off Satan. Apparently.
- NOPE. NOPE.
- The Young Nun has been caught. She has been caught!
- This is creepy.
- How does she not know this?
- Look behind you!
- She’s on the pentagram!!
- There it is!
- There’s the satanical portal. It has a sort of optical beauty to it – after all – it is a portal to another world, another space and time.
- How does the investigator not know this? Where is he?
- About to get jumped by Satanical minions.
- Too much action – what happened? Is he dead?
- Is she dead?
- Is it game over?
- There’s a bit too much CGI.
- And there’s Satan.
- Not as handsome as in Lucifer – also available to watch on Netflix.
- He’s ghastly.
- How can you not quake in your boots?
- Let a Holy battle commence!
- She’s free!
- And facing off to Satan.
- That water is not good.
- She’s dead! She is dead! Is she dead?
- Please say she is not dead – because we did not get this far for us to get to this point.
- Just inhaling a lot of water. Yes, yes – she spits the blood in Satan’s face!
- Thank goodness.
- *Lets out breath I did not know I was actually holding in for the last fifteen, twenty minutes.
- That was still, well, rather grisly – and this film needs a trigger/content warning of some sort.
- The water flood is retracting! At last.
- And relax…..
- That was a rather anti-climatic ending after all this time.
- It could have had a bit more glitz to the ending.
- And that is that.
What do you make of this news?
Are you going to be watching The Nun on Netflix?
Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
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